If we are going to nurture the spiritual lives of our children, we have to nurture our own spiritual lives.
— Sandy Eisenberg Sasso
It’s called the ripple effect and it pertains to life and, particularly right now, the practice of parenting. We are all currently in survival mode. As we alluded to in this post, we are in a moment where we must prioritize the most important things and let other things in our life slide. What we do for ourselves in this moment matters. This is the time where, as parents, our oxygen bag must be firmly secured first. Without it, nothing else can happen.
It’s ok if you are waddling about and asking what am I supposed to do? You simply cannot do it all: you cannot cook and clean and work for hours and homeschool and bath and plan toddler activities and go to the grocery store with gloves on and sign on to church on Sunday and do your devotional and create and live and breathe. You cannot do it all.
You are also in a house, close quarters, to your family. (Remember you deserve breaks!) I have never in my life spent more time with my husband (especially by the time this ends). We are balancing working together to both continue to work, finding a place to work, finding time to “relax”, playing with the kids, diaper changes (x2 kids), cleaning — all the things you are doing.
Am I showing up for myself (and my kids) spiritually right now? Am noticing moments of pause and giving them those moments too? Am I showing patience, love, compassion in the ways I hope my children do? To myself, to my husband, to them?
Write this down: what three things trigger me?
It could be: the way my husband drinks his water.
It could be: the third time I’ve done the dishes and it’s 9:00 AM.
It could be: A impatient email from a customer.
It could be: no school until, at the earliest, May 1?
These things can send your head in a tailspin! They are triggering and scary. No one makes their best decisions or is their best self when they are in a tailspin. Our parenting can be overridden with fear and anxiety when in the unknown.
Now write this down (again): what five things bring me joy?
It could be: writing.
It could be: playing (actually playing) with my child or hearing their laughter.
It could be: finishing a cup of coffee (while it’s hot).
It could be: a run.
Notice when your spirit is triggered. Simply make note tenderly: wow, that’s making my blood boil. Can you feel, truly let yourself feel it (write it down in the notes section of your phone)?
Then can you counteract it with something from your joy list?
Know these lists. Write your joy down on a notecard and place it on your computer or in your workspace or in the play space so you can turn to it quickly. In survival, we get triggered more often than normal and it’s important to remember our heart rate is heightened, our blood pumps faster, our adrenaline is activated. This is the natural physiological response to what this pandemic is: trauma.
Feel the frustration. Turn to the joy. This will ripple to your children.
This will nurture your soul. This will nurture their souls.
The podcast this quote is from can be found below. It’s 4 minutes and it’s a gentle and quick reminder to nurture.
