I’m watching the stock market. It’s ticking across my screen with intermittent interruptions of breaking news from The White House and CEOs talking about their strategies to keep their businesses alive. You’re stressed: about your parents, those around you who are immunocompromised, your job. I’m stressed about my business, this one, Nourish. How will this small business survive a pandemic?
Who would have thought a pandemic would come?
Nourish has survived challenging times before. We are being diligent to plan all scenarios AND putting faith in our leaders, and our God.
And mostly, we are thinking about the children: what do they need right now when the adults around them seem so distracted by this illness? Henry keeps asking me why I am on my phone again when usually my phone is plugged into a wall on the other side of the room when I am with him. I’ve read the articles on how to talk to kids about this (some of them are here), I’ve seen the sample schedules people have posted; I applaud all of the educational resources that are being created in this virtual world.
Educators are mobilizing to keep children engaged in learning and parents are willing to learn how to do what is best for there kids. Some parents are continuing to work from home and committed to continuing the education of their children.
Nourish, of course, focuses on young learners, and felt we could share some overarching themes to keep in mind. These aren’t new or life transforming and yet, we all need reminders from time to time.
routine.
The beauty of routine is that every family will have a different one. Time is an abstract concept to young children, not quite coming to full understanding until ages 5-7. We can expose children to time young, but it will be out of grasp mentally for a two year old. In this, a more appropriate routine would not include time. Instead it would show consistency day after day. “This happens, then this happens, then this.” Younger learners can handle about three actions at a time. “We are going to eat breakfast, then sort colors in the laundry, then do some dancing!”
Young children thrive in repetition, so your morning could be a breakfast invitation, a chore, puzzle time (a fine motor skill, small muscles), and a morning snack invitation. We’ll share some samples in the days to come, but mostly know to work within your child or children’s lead. If they tend to sleep in, you may not start your day until later. You may have early risers and start at 6:00 AM. Or, if you’re like me, you have both!
connect (and disconnect).
Place boundaries around your time on your phone or with the news. This is difficult, we understand, especially with news that is constantly shifting. Maybe you can check in every two hours, or at snack and meal times. My practice (before this past week) is to charge my phone from 5:00 PM - 8:00 PM every evening to connect with my kids.
Another practice you could add to your routine is Facetiming/calling friends and family (and even teachers!) to continue hearing the voices and seeing the faces that love your children. It is important they continue to feel that love surrounding them.
validate their feelings.
We are sometimes quick to dismiss kids in their small feelings, particularly when we ourselves are on edge. In times of big crisis, small things, like a bump or not getting their favorite snack or the strawberry being cut in half instead of whole, may come out in big ways because they are processing all of it in bursts. Tantrums are necessary for young children. We can also call these upsets. They release the energy inside them in the best way their bodies know how. In those moments, it’s important that we allow those big feelings.
“I’m here,” is a phrase you can use in this moment. Sit with them.
If you feel your patience waning, you can model regulation by you yourself taking a break. State it out loud: “I’m losing my patience and need a break to regroup.” Imagine a child seeing that self-regulation at such an uneasy time. Imagine you validating your own feelings of frustration. Let me admit, this is a practice!
play. play. play. play.
Children learn through play. Every aspect of being a human on this Earth shines through play. “Just playing,” does not articulate what is actually happening in their brains when they play. Dancing, painting, building, running, tag, play-doh, dress-up, skits. Release the pressure and allow them to be young children. Make your environment conducive to play and we assure, they will feel it.
breathe.
We are in uncertain times. Parents, take a deep breath yourselves. Write down 5 things that ground you, that bring you joy, that relieve your stress. Walks, working out, prayer, journaling, meditating. If you don’t know, take a few minutes to think about it and come back to those items when you begin to feel the overwhelm. Come back to your beating heart, your automatic breath, to the life inside you. Listen to your child’s laughter, their silly words — allow yourself to be with them.
Connection with your children in this time is such a generous gift to them. In uncertain times, their psychological side wants to know they are safe. That comes with connection to you, the parents.
May you be safe. May you have abundant health. May love surround you.
