How Do Children Learn?

“You cannot make people learn. You can only provide the right conditions for learning to happen.”

— Vince Gowmon

Yesterday, we were on a Zoom call for Easter, the adults trying to connect through conversation as Waylan and Henry ran wild in the background. Henry was climbing a mountain made with his chair; Waylan was running in circles, from room to room.

I let them. They were playing. I observed Henry flip over the chair using his big muscles (gross motor) and climb. I watched him grab all of his stuffed animals and have them climb, too. I watched him have the bear help the lamb to get over the mountain, then slide down the other side. All while Waylan danced and waved and waddled around (he’s 1).

This is all learning. I didn’t do much beyond stepping back and observing, helping if Henry asked. Sometimes, it seems like we aren’t doing enough to help our children learn. Right now, in this moment, it feels like way too much. How can I connect with my toddler and help my second grader with her math and work from home?

Each of my children learn differently. Each of us learn differently and how do we, as parents, cater to the way their minds work without losing our minds? Does it feel like you aren’t doing enough?

First of all, you are doing plenty by waking up and breathing every day right now. You may have to show up in million ways right now, ways that seem amazing and terrifying and overwhelming.

Secondly, maybe it would be helpful for all of us to understand the way our kids learn. The basics. The foundation. Maybe this would help us to take a deep breath and not grasp to be the best teacher, especially if our training was not in education.

These are the 5 pillars of growth and learning:

1. Environmental

2. Emotional

3. Physical

4. Social

5. Psychological 

For the time being, we are going to put social aside, although if there are siblings at home, social can come in.

• We spoke about setting the environment for play here, but here is some more insight.

  1. Sound: it's important to understand that something as simple as noise can affect a child’s learning. Are they working in a quiet room or do they seem to be distracted by background noise? 

  2. Lights: bright vs. dim has an impact on behavior and mood. Try having your child work near natural light if possible. 

  3. Temperature: if it’s too cold or too hot the child will be too focused on how they are feeling. Make sure the temperature is just right for learning. (Think about yourself in an office environment; when it’s cold, you have the heater at your feet and are searching everywhere for a sweater.)

  4. Design: informal vs. formal learning areas. Are you using tables and chairs or do you have a comfortable area with a couch. Some children might be able to focus in a comfortable area while others need a structured learning environment with a table and chairs. If your child is older, ask them what they prefer. Have them help you set up a comfortable space.

• Emotional

  1. Motivation: some students are intrinsically motivated to learn while others just need help along the way to be motivated. Not everyone is motivated in every area of their life. Kids are the same way! They may not need rewards, they may need connection and collaboration.

  2. Persistence: Some children stick with a project until the end and other children need constant encouragement; some kids need constant support and a cheering squad. Don’t expect perfection (from yourself or them).

  3. Responsibility and structure: some students can work independently, while others need supervision. Some children thrive with open ended tasks while others need more parameters to get them started. 

     1. There are some kids that just really struggle with open ended tasks or no directions. If you have one of those children and they ask what should they do? Instead of saying whatever they want, give them some parameters, have choices and options. You're not telling them what to do, you're giving them parameters and options.

• Physical: 

  1. Intake: some kids need food or drinks while they’re playing while other kids are fine without refreshments. With kids a lot of time they’re acting up it's because they’re thirsty or hungry 

  2. Time: Some do great in the morning or the afternoon. Find the best time that works for your child to learn. 

  3. Mobility: some kids need to move around a lot, while others sit for hours. Think about how can you implement this in your day? (Some kids could use a manipulative in their hand to help with movement to learn, some kids just need the invitation to play.)

• Psychological:

  1. Impulsive: Some children jump right into new tasks while others take a long time to make a decision. Just be patient with them. 

---

This is a lot of information but after a few weeks at home, you may notice some of these things taking place, intentional or not. What are you noticing in your own home environment that could be helpful for your sanity and help your child feel calm and safe?

What Do Children Need?

I’m watching the stock market. It’s ticking across my screen with intermittent interruptions of breaking news from The White House and CEOs talking about their strategies to keep their businesses alive. You’re stressed: about your parents, those around you who are immunocompromised, your job. I’m stressed about my business, this one, Nourish. How will this small business survive a pandemic?

Who would have thought a pandemic would come?

Nourish has survived challenging times before. We are being diligent to plan all scenarios AND putting faith in our leaders, and our God.

And mostly, we are thinking about the children: what do they need right now when the adults around them seem so distracted by this illness? Henry keeps asking me why I am on my phone again when usually my phone is plugged into a wall on the other side of the room when I am with him. I’ve read the articles on how to talk to kids about this (some of them are here), I’ve seen the sample schedules people have posted; I applaud all of the educational resources that are being created in this virtual world.

Educators are mobilizing to keep children engaged in learning and parents are willing to learn how to do what is best for there kids. Some parents are continuing to work from home and committed to continuing the education of their children.

Nourish, of course, focuses on young learners, and felt we could share some overarching themes to keep in mind. These aren’t new or life transforming and yet, we all need reminders from time to time.

routine.
The beauty of routine is that every family will have a different one. Time is an abstract concept to young children, not quite coming to full understanding until ages 5-7. We can expose children to time young, but it will be out of grasp mentally for a two year old. In this, a more appropriate routine would not include time. Instead it would show consistency day after day. “This happens, then this happens, then this.” Younger learners can handle about three actions at a time. “We are going to eat breakfast, then sort colors in the laundry, then do some dancing!”

Young children thrive in repetition, so your morning could be a breakfast invitation, a chore, puzzle time (a fine motor skill, small muscles), and a morning snack invitation. We’ll share some samples in the days to come, but mostly know to work within your child or children’s lead. If they tend to sleep in, you may not start your day until later. You may have early risers and start at 6:00 AM. Or, if you’re like me, you have both!

connect (and disconnect).
Place boundaries around your time on your phone or with the news. This is difficult, we understand, especially with news that is constantly shifting. Maybe you can check in every two hours, or at snack and meal times. My practice (before this past week) is to charge my phone from 5:00 PM - 8:00 PM every evening to connect with my kids.

Another practice you could add to your routine is Facetiming/calling friends and family (and even teachers!) to continue hearing the voices and seeing the faces that love your children. It is important they continue to feel that love surrounding them.

validate their feelings.
We are sometimes quick to dismiss kids in their small feelings, particularly when we ourselves are on edge. In times of big crisis, small things, like a bump or not getting their favorite snack or the strawberry being cut in half instead of whole, may come out in big ways because they are processing all of it in bursts. Tantrums are necessary for young children. We can also call these upsets. They release the energy inside them in the best way their bodies know how. In those moments, it’s important that we allow those big feelings.

“I’m here,” is a phrase you can use in this moment. Sit with them.

If you feel your patience waning, you can model regulation by you yourself taking a break. State it out loud: “I’m losing my patience and need a break to regroup.” Imagine a child seeing that self-regulation at such an uneasy time. Imagine you validating your own feelings of frustration. Let me admit, this is a practice!

play. play. play. play.
Children learn through play. Every aspect of being a human on this Earth shines through play. “Just playing,” does not articulate what is actually happening in their brains when they play. Dancing, painting, building, running, tag, play-doh, dress-up, skits. Release the pressure and allow them to be young children. Make your environment conducive to play and we assure, they will feel it.

breathe.
We are in uncertain times. Parents, take a deep breath yourselves. Write down 5 things that ground you, that bring you joy, that relieve your stress. Walks, working out, prayer, journaling, meditating. If you don’t know, take a few minutes to think about it and come back to those items when you begin to feel the overwhelm. Come back to your beating heart, your automatic breath, to the life inside you. Listen to your child’s laughter, their silly words — allow yourself to be with them.

Connection with your children in this time is such a generous gift to them. In uncertain times, their psychological side wants to know they are safe. That comes with connection to you, the parents.

May you be safe. May you have abundant health. May love surround you.

Learning Through Play: At Home

“Play is the highest form of research.”

At Nourish, we believe play is an essential part of learning. Play teaches kids the pivotal skill of learning. In these times, when we adults are restless and questioning the future, we believe it may be beneficial for all of us to play. Below are some powerful resources on how to set your home environment to play, how to disengage from the media and reengage with our families.

play at home

the invitation to play is as important as engagement. here are some tips for building the invitation (the environment) in your own home.

1. creating an environment means your activities should be meaningful and accessible to children

2. create centers like dramatic play, sensory, blocks, art, reading, writing, manipulative (small finger toys), science and gross motor (large muscle movement)

3. allow children to lead by choosing their own activities and experiences

4. create a structure around open ended play (a balance!)

5. engage with the child in play to learn and explore with them, ask open ended questions

resources

there are so many wonderful resources available to put into the structure of your day.

1. Jam with Jamie is holding virtual music classes in your home for great gross motor fun!

2. a virtual tour of the Smithsonian, and many more museums (this one has dinosaurs)!

3. build a fort. create an obstacle course. freeze dance. repeat.

We will follow up daily with more about creating the environment, structure and how to move forward leaning into play.

Always working through love.

Nourish